The last entry I wrote on this subject...the days that followed this one i was busy between the hospital and the bar. I know that's not a good thing to drink during these times but I needed it...anyway i don't know why i wrote this one as a story...


7/7/09 10:23

Loud knock on his bedroom door wake him up. followed by an even loader voice that fills the dark room. “hey you awake”. “I am now” he thought letting out a long groggy breath.
His father’s voice was low and read that he needed something. “can you do me a favor?”
Awake now, there was no coming back and he knew that his fathers favors didn’t come as request but rather demands, no matter the time or mental state you where in. “What do ya need” nick replied covering his face with his hands. Hoping the favor was merely an answer his father was seeking rather than some physical favor like cutting the yard. You moms gotta leave the hospital and she doesn’t want to leave your grandmother there alone with your grandfather. If the doctors come in she might not fully understand what he saying.”
Images of his grandfather lying in the hospital bed with tubes ran through his head. Followed by images of him picking him up when he was little to give him a hug.
“Ya give me a minute and I’ll be up.” It would be the worst afternoon in his life.
The shower really didn’t help the hangover neither did the poorly made sandwich. The long drive to the hospital usual. Not the weather however. 360 days of sun. Bright burning hot sun that’s melts your energy and keeps people inside their caves. Not today. Cloudy. severe overcast.
Room 3412 was at the end of a long hall. A hall filled with elderly patients. Patients with faces that read of long lives and deep emotions. They would leave the doors open just enough to catch glimpses of them. Some asleep. Some awake. Watching the door like dogs at the pound hoping someone came for them. A quick smile followed by a expression of sadness when they recognized he wasn’t coming for them.
The door has half open, and he could tell people where inside talking. He stops and turns back to the cart on the opposite side of the hallway, grabs a face mask and soaps his hands before entering. The beep and tubes are the first thing you notice. The old man sleeping with a ventilator is the second. His grandmother talking to a man is the third thing he sees. They look and greet each other. His grandmother is small lady with dark skin and dark hair. Greg, a family friend had been stopping by occasionally.
“Any news so far” Nick says. “no were still waiting on the doctor.” His grandmother says.” Nick finds a metal chair and sits behind the door of the crowded room. Greg continues about a conversation they were having about his girlfriend and the problems se gives him. Nick doesn’t listen though but stares at his grandfather who was breathing heavily though the machine. Memories pass him and thoughts of how things will be now. Images of the family getting together and how his grandparents where the foundation that built it. sadness fills his body, disabling his speech. All he can do is watch his grandfather breathe and listen to Greg’s story. his grandmother had an expression on her face that read that she was mildly interested. Greg didn’t notice. “I’m telling you Mrs. Zepeda my girlfriend is crazy… she gets so jealous”. Nick looks at Greg curiously thinking. “My grandfather is lying here dying and you’re talking about your trouble…my grandmother doesn’t care. Why are you talking about that?” He thinks more about it and wants to tell Greg to be quite. Anger begins to fill his mind when the door swings open and bangs startling nick. A dark skinned man enters wearing a yellow hospital gown followed by another man and women dressed the same listening intently. “I’m doctor___ and I understand that ya’ll have some questions?”…


-------Im know after rereading this thinking that what Greg was trying to do (poorly but trying) was maybe trying to provide some sort of comical relief or distraction to ease her mourning. sometimes the mind needs a break...i guess now that i think of it im glasd he understood that even if if i couldn't realize it. peace.